Jack, a career whore?!

So today someone asked me what I want to be in life, hmm.. I remember someone asking me the exact same question when I was 12 and I had given out a very confident, strong voiced reply, “Engineer like my father :D”. Although I managed to escape that question with quite a cheeky answer, it made me think about it all the way home. The thing that staggered me was how I didn’t have an answer to it anymore.
I have wanted to be a lot of things in life, like how once I read this most amazing manga ever, the Fullmetal Alchemist and suddenly I was googling comic books and how to draw cartoon characters and stuff. I went down and bought myself a drawing book, some crayons, color pens and I thought I wanted to do this for the rest of my life. Then it waned and I was back to being..umm.. confused. I mean how do you even decide when you’re just 16. It’s like deciding to marry someone, I wanna marry science or arts or that homeless wannabe guitar player (who btw in a few years time may turn out to be sharing stage with Mick Jagger). People tell me, “It’s a matter of time and everybody finds that one thing they wanna do for the rest of their lives” but what if I turn out to be George Clooney?? How do you know?? How do you know what makes you tick at 16 will still be making you want to get out of bed at 30?? Just how?? :/
I have heard people (when I say people I mean Eminem, Keith Richards) say, “There is nothing else they would wanna do for the rest of their lives”. Is it really true?? Have you tried doing something else?? ‘cos me.. I wanna be a rockstar one moment spitting water on people and the next I wanna be an eccentric writer working nights under a table lamp with crumpled papers strewn all around. Then again I also wanna make movies and sometimes I wanna be a politician. Can I be all that?? Is this what Lenka meant when she sang “all I wanna be is everything at once” ‘cos babe same.
My brother called it an “identity crisis” (sounds like some crappy indie band) and my mom says that I am directionless, dawdling with things, refusing to grow up. Well, I like to think of it as being the jack of all trades (and master of none but that’s not the point). I guess that’s who I am.. today but who knows what I might be tomorrow?? Its not that I don’t have passion.. or fire for that matter.. the kind of fire you see in the eyes of a 5 yr old when she sets them on the new, shiny ballet shoes in the display window for the first time, it’s just my eyes seem to hop from one shiny set to another wanting to do all of them. Umm.. so does that make me a career whore!? :O
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